We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
