I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
