He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
