wrigley field is MILF paradise
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
