I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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