I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
