How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
