I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize