You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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