your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We just shotgunned beers for America
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
