Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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