so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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