shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
