I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
