You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My vagina is very pro this idea
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
