last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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