i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
