ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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