No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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