We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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