? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
