idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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