Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
