i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
