Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
