i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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