Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
