just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
