so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
