I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
two words...techno handjob
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
