You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
