I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
