Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
