Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
