There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
