dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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