I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
