at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
