The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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