i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
