Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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