Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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