put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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