Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
