I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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