this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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