Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
