im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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