Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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