he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
